I remember feeling embarrassed about my body from an early age.

Growing up in Florida, the endless activities that required wearing a bathing suit were a huge source of anxiety and shame.  I was typically the girl at the pool that wore a t-shirt over her suit to hide her body (or better yet, the girl with the excuse to skip the pool party in the first place!).  I was larger than most of my friends, and all I wanted to do was feel smaller.

Then in high school I was put on an anxiety medication that caused weight gain as a side effect.  No one told me this, so I was left to assume that it was somehow my fault.  I jumped on the dieting rollercoaster without realizing that it would have a firm grip on my life for many years to come. 

It became a familiar pattern… I would try the latest fad diet, do pretty well for a few weeks, and then crash hard into a spiral of defeated (and usually secret) binge eating.  The next time I got back on the wagon and tried again, I would be convinced that it would be different this time (spoiler: that was never the case).

Fast forward to college, where I was finally on my own for the first time, which made it easier to hide my disordered eating.  Combine that with being surrounded by peers who valued thinness over anything else, and it was a recipe for disaster.  That’s when the more intense disordered eating behaviors kicked in.  I tried everything from starving myself, binging & purging, punishing myself with exercise, taking diet pills...even tried smoking!  Everything I tried only left me more miserable.  Even when I was at my lowest weight, I still hated my body.

After college, I transitioned to a more “socially acceptable” form of disordered eating.  I became obsessed with running, which proved to be a useful tool to justify, hide, and/or pay penance for my eating behaviors.  My motivation to run was often linked to the indulgent meal I could “earn” during long training runs or by completing the next race.  

But after awhile, running took its toll on my body and recurring injuries forced me to give it up.  Seeking another way to “control” my body and relationship with food, I turned to studying nutrition.  What started as another tactic for weight loss eventually grew into a passion that would influence my decision to move to Northern California in 2010.  I loved the idea of surrounding myself with a community that valued health and wellness.  I eventually enrolled in nutrition school at Bauman College where I thoroughly enjoyed geeking out with my fellow nutrition nerds.

After building the knowledge and skills I assumed I needed to work in the nutrition space, I realized there was still a missing piece.  It took further study and training around the psychology of eating for me to realize that it’s actually not even about the food.  It’s about our relationship with food.  It’s about the deeper reasons behind why we eat and how we eat, not about what’s on our plate.

In 2018, after more than a decade of practicing yoga, I became a yoga teacher. I’ve explored a variety of different styles and have fallen in love with teaching/practicing gentle, yin, and restorative yoga. For me, yoga is about calming my nervous system, nurturing my mental health, and finding community. I enjoy building a community of folks looking to slow down and rest, one class at a time.

Another avenue I use to help folks find peace and comfort in their bodies is through massage. As a certified massage therapist, I thoroughly enjoy getting to work with people one-on-one and helping them find relaxation and a break from our fast-paced world. You can find more information about my massage offerings here.

At times, I still find myself faced with old eating patterns and behaviors.  I don’t pretend to have it all figured out, and I will be working with them for the rest of my life.  But I now see my challenges as a gift that allows me to deeply empathize with those who struggle with disordered eating and poor body image.  I’ve found passion in helping folks find freedom with food and comfort in their bodies, and am constantly inspired by those that chose to do this hard but rewarding work.